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Self-Esteem is Like a Muscle

Self-esteem is like a muscle – you build it up. How? Not by mentally thinking yourself to it, or inheriting it, or having it mystically be there one day.
No, it happens by doing esteem-able acts. We need to feel that what we’ve done is worthy, valuable, heart-warming.
Many successful people do not feel true self-esteem. It’s never too late to get stronger and build that esteem muscle. What actions warm your heart when you do it?

Circling Your Own Sun

Icarus flew too close to the sun and melted his wings – perhaps we all suffer from a fear of what happened to him?

We all have dreams and aspirations. Let’s imagine that they are figuratively our Sun. Instead of flying straight into it and transforming old form into new – we circle it – hesitant, wanting guarantees, analyzing what everybody else thinks.

In that time, we melt our wings; crashing back down to earth feeling beaten and ridiculous for even trying.

I see this over and over again. People presumably clear on what they want or where they want to go, but completely unable to make substantive change.  They may spend a great deal of time, energy and money on “getting there” only to look up and still be in the same spot.

What can you do?

1. Be aware that struggle is seductive.

It sometimes dresses up as effort. Just because you’ve put forth the effort- emotionally, financially, intellectually – doesn’t mean that you’ve made progress.  Warning – unrequited effort will often leave you feeling justified in complaining or blaming which only leaves you in victim-mode and which also keeps the ego in charge. It looks like you’re trying but the ego is maintaining the status quo.

2. Take stock of where you are. But don’t ask how first!

How close to the sun are you? How long have you been circling?  Are you flying around the right sun? Or should you be in another solar system? Ask what it is you want, why it is you want it and whether its true for you?. Keep doing that until you can boil the desire down to its bones.  The how will reveal itself.

3. Reduce the effort.

Yes, I said do less, not more.  Decide that you’re going to stop complaining, blaming, or beating yourself up. The soul doesn’t complain – that’s the ego’s gig.  Instead, every time you feel like something is not the way you’d like it to be, you can query yourself on what you’d prefer. [Here’s another tip: often the questions we ask – provide the answer or direction to the answer we need.]

Photo by Luis Graterol on Unsplash

Imagine It!

You must create the possibility, not only in your mind but also in your heart. The idea will not survive without a heartbeat. It will attempt to form as you think or even talk (too much) about it, but like smoke, it cannot hold its form without a container. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
In humans, the first thing we can see and hear following the idea of conception is the heartbeat. There is a reason. Your dream or idea or heart’s desire is no different. Give it life. Feel it. Dance with it. Talk to it. Imagine it in full bloom.

What is Your LEGACY?

What is your LEGACY? In my new course Business Design Lab for Women, we explore the legacies carried in our energetic fields. From life lessons to our creative sources. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
This picture is from my grandmother and grandfather’s wedding. I have gained from them many blessings which I carry in my energy. My grandmother was a teacher and administrator. My grandfather worked for the post office and ran a successful theater venue in Chicago. I see these “through lines” in my life today. It is a fascinating exploration. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If you want to learn more about my upcoming 6-week course, first, write down this passcode &=!zAj10 (case sensitive). Second, click this webinar link to watch the Intro Webinar replay! ⠀⠀

I Miss Travel

This picture was taken at Milan Central Station.

Anyone who knows me knows I would have been to at least three countries this summer. Travel is the reason I started my other business ZoeGoes. @ZoeGoesOfficial.

Because of shelter in place, I haven’t ventured far from home. The pictures help. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Were you supposed to travel this summer? Where?

Go Play!


“A little nonsense now and then is cherished by the wisest men.” ~ Willy Wonka

Go Play! I know it may not feel convenient but do it anyway. It doesn’t require a grand itinerary, just a simple pleasure – a leisurely cup of tea, a game of tennis, cutting up with your favorite old movie – you get the idea.

The great paradox is that a little fun now will enable you to be more focused later. (Or at least you’ll resent the demands less…)

This week: Tap your inner child and renew your outer adult.

Are You a Producer or Consumer CEO?

Alisa was a consultant at my How to leverage “A” clients for higher profitability workshop. She’s ready to move ahead in her business; tired of overworking and under receiving; tired of wondering how to differentiate herself from the billions of other consultants in the marketplace.  She loves the idea of working with more clients who will meet her halfway and who trust her and are willing to be collaborative.  But she’s hesitant about committing to a change and I can see that she has fallen into the “bird-in-the-hand” trap. She’s shifted her business mindset from producer to consumer.

The producer mindset is the one we have when we start our business – we have no choice. We have to invest upfront – plan, gather resources, imagine where we want to go, then throw it all into the market and believe — with no guarantees.

But something happens to us once we have a sale or two. Our mindset shifts from producer to consumer.  Now it’s about protecting what we have – of holding onto the “bird-in-the-hand.”

We switch from imagining where we want to go and believing with no guarantees, to being afraid to do anything differently than how we did it for the last sale.  And now we, demand guarantees before we invest – forgetting that change doesn’t require our permission.

Let’s take a lesson from another sector — could a farmer do that? No.  Farmers are masters of the producer mindset – mother nature demands it. They plan, gather their resources, plant and believe – no guarantees – year after year.  In between, they water, fertilize and de-weed – nurturing their dream. Then they harvest what mother nature, the ultimate change agent, gives back to them.

Business should be like that — dream, gather resources, release best effort, and harvest.  Really, does a farmer expect to yield a new crop from last year’s corn stalks? Why should we?



“Ugh, I don’t know what to do!” How many times have you said that? The insight you need is waiting for you, but you must learn to listen for it. Sometimes it helps to distract the intellect, which simply wants to “do what it knows.” I do this by doing something physical – walking, dancing, exercising, cleaning the house. These activities occupy the mind and create the space for inspiration to come in.

In this picture, I was a little lost in Estonia – trying to find my group meeting. This was the exterior of a dicey, dilapidated housing complex. I stopped, took several deep breaths and when I opened my eyes, I saw a friend and we found the meeting together. Ahhhh..

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You'll find content here to educate and inspire. Reflections and musings. Some behind-the-scenes sharing - so that you can see how I, and the people I interview, do it - and that it is not always perfect. Join the conversation.

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